I Don’t Wanna Grow Up

anigif_enhanced-buzz-10636-1375386653-52Being an adult sucks.  I spend all day in front of a computer doing work, then at night I come home and there’s a million things to do – run errands, clean the apartment, get dinner, take the dog out, try to spend time with BB, etc, etc – that reading is just following to the bottom of my priority list.  When the fourth Harry Potter book came out, it was the biggest book I’d ever seen at over 1,000 pages, and I finished it in under a day.  Easily.  I was in high school at the time, I think, but it came out in the summer.  Now, I’ve been working through the 2nd Game of Thrones book for WEEKS.  WEEKS I TELL YOU.  And I’m barely halfway through.  And I have a  lot of thoughts & feelings about it (am I the only one who feels like if Martin’s females are super-duper-amazingly-well drawn and realistic and perfect representations that maybe we’ve set the bar too low? Yes?  OK I’ll go sit in the corner and think about what I’ve said) but I don’t really have time to fully process them because the reading time that I do get is like while I’m eating lunch, or in the morning if I shower first and am waiting for BB to get ready, or if I get to lunch or dinner before my friends do.  I’m not getting the long stretches of time that I used to get – I’m not babysitting anymore, so required reading is out the window, and since I’m working in an office now instead of in retail all my days off are weekends, and I don’t get long, luxurious weekdays off when everyone else is working and I can do whatever the hell I want.

I feel like I’m being a big complainer right now.  But I’m happy with my life – honestly, I am.  This job is a million times better than the one I had previously – and the fact that it pays me enough to pay my bills without adding two more on top of it is incredibly.  I love living with BB and getting to spend time together every night, and nesting and making this place our own is somehow both incredibly exciting and incredibly soothing. And obviously, I adore my dog with all my heart and soul and I don’t ever for a second regret getting him.  But there are definitely days when all I want to do is curl up with a book and a glass of wine or mug of tea (why not both?  really.  who declares that I need to make decisions like this) and forget the world for hours on end, and it makes me intensely sad that those days are almost entirely extinct from my life.



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2 responses to “I Don’t Wanna Grow Up

  1. I’m sorry those wonderful reading days seem to be over, but some day one or two or fifteen days like that will show up. Our lives do seem awfully cluttered. I have been rereading “The Forsyte Saga” for over three months, because I usually don’t get to read until bedtime. Then, most nights my eyes start to daze over after one or two pages and I fall asleep. Ah well, dreaming is nice too.

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