Adventures in Barnes & Noble


I’m backkkkkkk, bitches. Woah. Too far.

So, after taking the summer off to, you know, have kids and stuff, I’m finally getting back into book club.  And seriously, I’m like unnecessarily excited about it.  I love book club.  First of all, I love reading and books and I love talking about books.  Then, of course, it’s just an excuse to drink wine and eat cheese and get together with a few of my close friends and talk about one anothers lives.  Seriously, I didn’t go to book club for a few months and I don’t think I’ve seen anyone.  Well, I’ve seen them, but it hasn’t been consistent or reliable and I miss them.  So, this month’s book is This Is Where I Leave You by Jonathan Tropper, which you may recognize as the new movie that’s coming out with Jason Bateman & Tina Fey.  We are excellent at picking books based on movies, I’ve gotta tell ya.  But it’s nice, because it means we read the book before seeing the movie, and it helps us get a nice variety of genres in.

While that is all very well and good, and I’m OBVIOUSLY excited about it, that isn’t even the exciting part of my story.  So, first of all, I gotta tell you, FUCK non-automatic doors.  It takes me at least 5 minutes to get into anyplace that doesn’t open for me with this damn double decker bus masquerading as a stroller.  But I do get in, and move on with my day. I go to get the book, and I take the girls with me, which leads to a COMPLETE AND TOTAL MELTDOWN in Barnes and Noble.  Just as I found the book, Maddy started to fuss, and since we had stopped at the grocery store before the mall, I knew it was a wet diaper situation.  So I took them into the bathroom to change.  A very nice lady actually knocked on the stall door (their changing table is inside their handicapped stall, which honestly seems weird – what if a handicapped person came in while I was changing them?  I was NOT QUICK) and asked if I needed help, which was nice. Then I had to find a quiet corner to sit them on the floor (in their carseats, of course) to feed them both before they would settle.  So, I was all kinds of DONE with this trip by the time I got to the register.  The lady asked me if I wanted to renew my membership, and I said fine, because it’s only $20 instead of $25 and with book club it usually ends up being worth it.  And I have a gift card that I found in my wallet – I think someone gave it to me for my birthday and I forgot about it.  I assumed it had the usual $25 on it, so I got ready to pull out $10 or so for the book.  NOPE, THE GIFT CARD HAD $50 AND I HAD TO PAY $0 TO RENEW MY MEMBERSHIP AND BUY THE BOOK.  I was thrilled.  Like, unbelievably happy.

This is my life now.


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